Moisturizing Elixir
A lightweight elixir to steady the complexion, brighten both skin and outlook, and guard against mischief. A fortifying blend of jojoba, lavender, frankincense, grapefruit, tea tree, and sandalwood—crafted to balance oil, calm redness, and leave your face with the quiet confidence of a man clearly up to something. FIRST BATCH RESERVATIONS Reserve a Bottle The inaugural batch of Balancing Ritual Oil is presently awaiting the blessing of several officials and at least one rubber stamp. Reserve your bottle now and it shall be dispatched immediately upon approval. Expected dispatch: August 2026. Fully refundable until shipment, should reason prevail over enthusiasm. USAGE Apply 3-4 drops to clean, slightly damp skin morning and evening. Gently press and massage into face. Avoid duels at dawn. INGREDIENTS Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Oil, Boswellia Carterii (Frankincense) Oil, Citrus Paradisi (Grapefruit) Peel Oil, Melaleuca Alternifolia (Tea Tree) Leaf Oil, Santalum Album (Sandalwood) Oil.
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How to use
A four-step ritual. Slow on purpose. The elixir performs best on damp skin, in low light, with nowhere else to be for the next ninety seconds.
- 01
Warm
Three to four drops into clean palms. Rub slowly — the oil should read blood-warm before it touches skin.
- 02
Press
Press, don't rub, into damp face and neck. The water still on your skin is part of the formula.
- 03
Breathe
Cup your hands over your nose. Three breaths. Frankincense and cedarwood do the quiet work here.
- 04
Rest
Leave it. No follow-up cream, no towel-blot. The elixir is the final step; the ritual ends when you decide.
Filmed in the studio, one take, no music.
The Ritual Kit
The elixir, paired with the two objects we reach for every time we use it: an unbleached linen cloth for the initial press, and a brass tin to hold the dropper between uses.
- Moisturizing Elixir · 30mlEUR 29.99
- Unbleached linen clothIncluded
- Solid brass apothecary tinIncluded
“Every ingredient is sourced by a name we know. If we can’t call the grower, we don’t bottle it.”
— Doc Bankman, formulator
Bottled by hand,
on Wednesdays.
Ninety-six bottles per batch. Numbered, dated, sealed with wax the same afternoon they’re filled. Watch a batch move from beaker to bottle.
Letters we have received, mostly unprompted.
Reprinted with theatrical license. Names occasionally invented. Sentiments regrettably real.
“I wrote to Doc Bankman asking if the elixir would fix my life. He wrote back, on letterhead, to say no — but that it would make the failing more scenic. He was correct on both counts.”
“My dermatologist asked what I was using. I said 'a small brown bottle formulated during Mercury retrograde by a man who signs his emails The Doctor.' She sighed and wrote it down.”
“The dropper is heavier than my wedding ring. I don't know what to do with that information, but I felt you should have it.”
