The Cabinet
One shelf. One bottle. Released when it was ready and not a Tuesday sooner. Further formulations are in the tincture stage — subscribe below if you would like to be told first.
Moisturizing Elixir
A lightweight elixir to steady the complexion, brighten both skin and outlook, and guard against mischief. A fortifying blend of jojoba, lavender, frankincense, grapefruit, tea tree, and sandalwood—crafted to balance oil, calm redness, and leave your face with the quiet confidence of a man clearly up to something. FIRST BATCH RESERVATIONS Reserve a Bottle The inaugural batch of Balancing Ritual Oil is presently awaiting the blessing of several officials and at least one rubber stamp. Reserve your bottle now and it shall be dispatched immediately upon approval. Expected dispatch: August 2026. Fully refundable until shipment, should reason prevail over enthusiasm. USAGE Apply 3-4 drops to clean, slightly damp skin morning and evening. Gently press and massage into face. Avoid duels at dawn. INGREDIENTS Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Oil, Boswellia Carterii (Frankincense) Oil, Citrus Paradisi (Grapefruit) Peel Oil, Melaleuca Alternifolia (Tea Tree) Leaf Oil, Santalum Album (Sandalwood) Oil.
Cures nothing. For external use only. Results vary.
What Doc is measuring, weighing, and refusing to release yet.
Dates deliberately absent. A formulation is ready when it stops arguing with itself.
- 002
Botanical Cleansing Balm
In tincture - 003
Evening Hand Salve
Formulating - 004
Restorative Face Mist
On the bench